According to Pew Research Center, most small businesses employ less than 20 people. The census narrows this down even more – within the retail sector the average is 6.4 people per business. We rely heavily on part time workers, and often are more than willing to work around availability concerns as long as they are disclosed to us at time of hire. That’s true for me and the business that I work for, and it’s true for most of the small business owners/managers that I know as well.
The nature of hiring that way is that we lose employees. Occasionally we’ll have one or two that show promise and we’re able to promote them up and keep them within our ranks. If we are lucky we get to stay in contact with past employees and see them from time to time after their departure. One of the great rewards of my career has been getting to know so many people and learn their stories – I’m still in touch with dozens of my past employees and I adore seeing them thrive and find their way in life.
Which brings me to this dude I used to manage.
He was an absolute HR nightmare. Brash and full of himself, and had an absolutely unhealthy obsession with his car and a penchant for saying whatever came to mind – appropriate or not. Foul mouthed and cocky, he was disturbingly efficient at his job. My customers adored him – especially the older crowd. I think they appreciated his no bullshit way of communicating…usually followed by a wink and a sly side smile.
He was the type of employee that I often found myself conflicted over. We had weekly chats about how to best approach customer service (“This is some bullshit” he’d say, puffing on his Marlboro and squinting at me), fought about where products would go (What were you thinking?” I’d say, looking at the stuffed animals arranged in what can only be described as…inappropriate positions), and at the end of the day I would like to think we genuinely respected each other despite our differences.
He taught the younger ones what true work ethic is, made sure to share his sage advice about lessons learned, and in general was an amazing team player. He loved Christmas – even going so far as to gift me an old plastic light up Santa riddled with BBs (no doubt a casualty of target practice from his younger years) – glowing with faded and peeling paint. He was so proud of it I had no choice – we had to plug the ugly thing in, and damn if it didn’t bring a smile to everyone who saw it.
He was eventually promoted at his other job, and he gave his notice. We drifted apart over the years and eventually lost contact other than the occasional “Merry Christmas” text.
He died a month ago.
We can say that there needs to be strict boundaries between hierarchy levels. Owners, managers, employees – it’s easier if we maintain distance from each other. I find that to be impractical.
It is impossible to not care about your employees on a personal level. I find myself wanting to cheer their accomplishments, and I want to lift them up when they fail. I try to balance offering constructive criticism with an empathetic ear – and if I am being completely honest, sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail. Managers and owners are people too, after all, and people fail sometimes.
I often think about that – the complexities of the relationship between leaders and their subordinates, and the blurred lines that result from working in close proximity with one another. Not everyone will succeed – the reality of the situation is that there will always be people who either don’t understand where their leaders’ viewpoints are coming from…or who simply don’t care. That’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes, and it’s one that I find myself being presented with over and over again.
It wears on me – the apathy of today’s workforce – and it’s a problem that seems to be getting worse in the age of TikTok and social media. It’s exhausting to constantly put on a face for your employees, to constantly act like everything is fine – even when it’s not – and to be put into a position where you have to be a strict disciplinarian all of the time. It leads one to a dark place, mentally speaking.
But…every once in a while an employee will come along and give you an old beat up Santa. Every once in a while an employee will remind you that they do care, and that you aren’t alone, and that they’re going to try their best to help you dig yourself and your business out of whatever hole it might be in. If you’re really lucky, as I have been, you’ll get the privilege of working with a few of these employees – and it will change your whole viewpoint on what the meaning of work and personal success is.
Rest in peace dude, we are better for having known you. Even if your merchandising skills were shit.
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